The Power of Goal Setting

Awhile back as I was organizing some old notes I ran across a goal work sheet I had done back in the mid 90's. Amazingly, about half of the goals I had written down at that time I accomplished. I wonder what would have happened if I actually had a plan and worked those goals?

We teach our students about goal setting in several ways but the core is the belt system. Martial Arts is a personal journey, too often in life we judge ourselves and others on some external and/or perceived standard. While watching students perform you will see many varying abilities in students of the same rank. What you have to understand that each of them started at different physical mental and emotional levels and are working towards their personal best. We are usually hardest on our own, sometimes forgetting how far they have come. It's like when a relative you haven't seen in a while says your child has gotten so tall and you think "oh yea maybe he has".

The belt system is designed and should be viewed for what it is - a personal accomplishment and indication of how far you have come and the action plan for the future. Our belt system provides for short term goals- The next tip or belt, mid range goals- going from beginner to intermediate, and long range goal of Black Belt. You need all 3 in your goal planning I firmly believe that in order for a student (especially a child) to want to set and work towards a goal they first need to feel what it is like to succeed. The first belt is white and is easy to attain. We then add in a few more requirements for yellow, a few more for orange.

The system progressively adds more work and requirements as you progress with standards becoming harder. The student is easily able to achieve in the lower ranks and is thus prepared for the more advanced ranks. Effort, attitude, time management, confidence all improves over time and starts to become integrated into the students other activities.

This is not to say there won't be trials and tribulations along the way. But it is how the students (and parents) persevere and not give up that is the real lesson. The worst time to give up is when the frustration of progress is greatest. The time to re-evaluate is when the training is once again enjoyable. Then if you decide that your current goal isn't important anymore you need to replace it with a new one not just quit. Goals provide a path for growth and learning, developing self-confidence along the way.

Goal setting Template

Know what you want
Have a plan
Take consistent action
Review and renew

A friend's students mother was murdered the other day in a RANDOM killling. 4 local teenagers have been arrested and said (according to the news) that they picked a random secluded home to kill everyone inside. WHAT THE HELL IS GONG ON IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN A THRILL IS KILLING AND DESTROYING. THIS IS TOTALLY SICK AND HAS NO PLACE IN SOCIETY. i DON'T WANT THEM TO BE REHABED THEY DON'T DESERVE THE CHANCE. I will never comprehend how people can treat others in a way that they would detest. The father of one of the killers came on and said my son isn't violent it was the other kid. I can understand how the father doesn't want to believe his son could do this but STOP! Sorry for the rant but this hit very close to home and I am tired of this crap being accepted by the public and the news. When will it stop? when will we make people responsible for their actions and take the consquences? when will we stop blaming others for our lot in life. When will we stop allowing criminals the right to whine and get away with things because they had a bad childhood? My heart goes out to you and your community and especially the family and that little girl. Nothing we can say or do will help us to understand what this little girl faces if she lives

Mixed Up Martial Arts

I just returned from Washington, DC. While there I attended a NASKA World Tour tournament (The U.S. Capital Classics) met with about 25 school owners representing around 5,000 students, and then met several times with my instructor Grand Master Jhoon Rhee.Meeting with Jhoon Rhee and my other events during my quick trip reminds me of several important aspects of martial arts instruction in 2009 and beyond.One of my favorite Jhoon Rhee quotes is "Martial Arts without Philosophy is Just Street Fighting." Now, he's obviously a visionary and at times out of sync with where things exist currently in the martial arts community due to focusing on where how he seesthe future unfolding.We discussed his development of Musical Forms (Martial Ballet.) He explained that in the 1960's he foresaw that martial arts "fighting" would no longer be necessary in the future but rather to preserve martial arts the "art" must be preserved over the "martial." He then explained that his concept was 100% congruent with our American Founding fathers and with the true purpose of human evolution. Quickly as he saw my skepticism he pulled out a manuscript of his soon to be published biography and pointed out this quote:"I must study politics and war, that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy, natural history and naval architecture, in order to give their children aright to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, tapestry, and porcelain."John Adams quotes (American 2nd US President (1797-1801), 1735-1826)Now, that's really interesting.To me it seems that in the 1970's and 1980's most martial arts instructors had come around to Grand Master Rhee's way of thinking. We practiced the "DO" arts to facilitate personal development. The movie "The Karate Kid" shared principles and values that were clear about developing discipline and confidence and avoiding violence.To my great disappointment it seems that many practitioners and instructors have lost sight of what Grand Master Rhee keeps clearly in focus. Martial Arts Practice today for the vast majority should be purely about personal development. Clearly our armed forces and police need effective fighting technique, but frankly that's more often about modern weapons not about unarmed combat (hopefully.)And, if you don't want to take Jhoon Rhee's word for it (or even John Adams) how about another kick-boxing and point-fighting legend Joe Lewis? He's perhaps the ultimate "old-school" tough guy still training students throughout the world. What's he have to say?In one aspect of what is called "martial arts," the MMA stuff, many black belts come across as heavily tattooed, cartoon looking hoodlums, who respect violence and feel free to curse and to exercise degradation against others on national TV. The media has gone from completely ignoring us in the early sixties to seemingly only granting visibility to those who believe that it's in vogue to condone violence, and/or that it is okay to send kids the message that adults accept the use of violence as a means to resolve problems. This is not the message that parents in martial arts wish to have their kids taught to value or with which to have them exposed. Just as "Pro Wrestling" is not real wrestling, in a way, perhaps MMA is not real martial arts.Violence by definition is a "loss of self-control." Martial arts teaches self-control; therefore martial arts is not violent-people are. Guns (for the gun control freaks) do not kill others-bullets do.We need to wake up-black belts are leaving the martial arts in droves. We need to revalidate and grant dignity to the meaning of the old definition of what is a black belt. Either it does not mean anything any longer (in this fanatical M.A. marketing atmosphere) or it has become the finish line which determines at what point in ones journey does he call it quits. SAD!Joe LewisIt's vital to recognize that Martial Arts Training is always about developing high quality physical skills. It's about fitness and self-defense. However, those mostly arise from the mental and emotional development that goes with rigorous practice of martial arts.And, to add another point that Joe Lewis makes. The first, second, or third degree Black Belt must be a starting point for personal development. Just as a high school diploma should be a start to one's learning through life. For a beginning student achieving Black Belt is an appropriate early "bench-mark" to beginning quality personal development for life. It's not an end in itself.Quality schools will (and, do) constantly expand and enhance the definition of what a Black Belt (and, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Degree Black Belt) is and must attain. Marketing for Martial Arts schools should be about attracting quality students - never about watering down the achievementand recognition of students and never about lowering standards of excellence.

Stephen Oliver,
MBA 8th Degree Black Belt

Teaching Children Life Skills Involves a Lot More Than Telling Them to Do What is Right

The theory of children or adults doing what is right just because it is right is rife with flaws. Most people do 1 of 2 things and that is to move away from pain (the most popular) or to move towards pleasure. Rarely does anyone do anything just because it is right. Think of your own life, there are certain things we do without the thought of reward like being a friend. But, don't we expect friendship in return for the most part? Children need guidance, a plan, role models, expectations, and rewards just like the rest of us. To expect anything differant is just foolish. All actions carry consequences good and bad.

Children must learn the differance in application not just theory and talk. Holden Martial Arts.com has a mutitude of programs to address the different needs of our students and their parents. Presentation of material, Study, practice, role models, congruency of thought are presented and practiced throughout the school. Young students as well as teens and adults and their differances are taken into account and the ART is modified to help the student to attain their goals and not the other way around. If an art cannot accomadate the general public it isn't an art or the teacher isn't qualified to present it, regardless of age (certain limitations do apply).

The 4 stages of learning

Not sure where I learned of the 4 stages but it tracks the growth of a student. The 4 stages are
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence.

The 1st stage of Unconscious Incompetence is you don't know what you don't know. This is the 1yr of training for most people. Next, Conscious Incompetence describes the intermediate student in our system includes purple, blue and green belts. They are beginning to understand that they don't know. With this stage also comes quite a few dropouts as they tend to get frustrated about their perceived lack of improvement. Conscious competence is probably the most dangerous in terms of ego. The student starts to think that they are getting good and may try the boundaries of their experience. Too many students stop at this stage and then either move on (saying they accomplished their goals) or start to mix in additional training that may interfere with their growth, or that they actually understand and don't need further instruction. This level extends up through the new black belts. Only after many hours on the mat with directed training do students develop the unconscious competence to perform without thought and almost watch themselves.
An example of this progression is remember when you 1st started driving, all the different details you had to keep track of, the road, the cars in front, back and around you, the clutch(?), brake, mirrors, how much gas to give etc etc. And now you do all that and add things we probably shouldn't. I'll leave that list to your imagination

Unfortunately, in this day of instant everything too many people don't commit or will stop when the going gets even a little hard thereby short circuiting one of life's most important lessons, Anything worthwhile will have many moments of doubt, frustration and rationalization (of quitting, is it worth it, etc.) but never experience the confidence and satisfaction of attaining a long term goal.

welcome to my blog. Linda (my wife) and I discuss many things in the morning over coffee one of which is that I am a renegade when it comes to most things. Now I know that I am not that differant from some people out there, its just hard to find them. I have my own ideas about martial arts, self defense, business (and how I want to run it), that differ from the norm.

My hope and desire is to connect with these odd people and also my students as I ramble on about many differant subjects